He's So Faithful! And Thank You From The Bottom Of My Heart!

God is faithful! So faithful! Can I just give a shout out to how faithful he is! In my life I can look back already and see his hand. Lately it's just bam, bam, bam, been faithfulness, faithfulness, faithfulness. He has been faithful to me and helped me along even when I've made naive, or unwise decision. He doesn't condemn me. He doesn't leave me to figure it out my self. He's helping me right out of it. I'm still leaning on him strongly, and on the beautiful people he has placed in my life to help me along! I couldn't do life with out these people he has so faithfully blessed me with! Thank you to these blessings, Mr. Scott, Mrs. Tammie, Rebeca, David, for hosting me for a few months. For feeding me, loving me, laughing, with me crying with me, providing for all of my needs from a place to sleep in warmth down to eyeliner and toothpaste and everything in between. Mi-Mi and Paw-Paw for taking me in, feeding me, doing my laundry, letting me disrupt your schedule, and loving me always. Grandma and Pops for supporting me, praying for me, giving me wisdom, laughing with me and loving me. Mom and Dad, are there enough words? As I get older I realize what an incredible thing I have probably taken for granted way too often, you're encouragement, support, and wisdom mean the world to me! I love you more than you will ever know. Mrs. Patty thank you for speaking the words God gave you to me just when I was asking God what I should do. Thank you for always loving me and speaking words of life to me, I Love you so much. Aunt Vanessa thank you for being a blessing in my life. You sent me a text the other day that said "Lord Bless You With Joy!" Either I'm loopy or God answered that prayer directly. I can't say everything has been peaches and cream. Mi-Mi could tell you about my melt down the other day. But what I can say, is that despite trivial matters that seem so big in my head, I have such joy! And really all of my needs are met. The more I just trust him, I realize the uncertainty and tears are not so necessary. And sometimes I'm crying and saying "I trust you" and He's probably thinking, "So why is she sitting there crying like that." But that doesn't keep him from showering faithfulness on me. He's teaching me so much. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for following him and in so doing blessing me.(And I know many others!) I love you all! xoxo! Happy February my favorite month! When we are reminded that love and kindness are so very treasured and important!

Notable Moments

Last week I was standing in my parents book closet, searching for a book to read and Abby was sitting in a chair near me. She was kind of off in her own little world just thinking, and occasionally looking at me like I was crazy as I would randomly blurt things out to her while searching for a book. After a little while she said to me, "Hey, do you know that t.v. show called Heartland?" I told her I had heard of it. She said, "Well, it's kind of a horse show and about a girl. But anyway, I watched a lot of it in the past few weeks. Then last week Dad told me I wasn't allowed to watch it anymore, because He didn't like me being on the computer all the time and watching that show all the time. I thought I was going to die. All I wanted to do was watch that show. I was just going crazy that I couldn't watch it. It's all I would think about! But now it has been a week or two since Dad told me I wasn't allowed to watch it. And now it doesn't even bother me. I don't even think about it or care anymore, it's like I'm free!(She said that part in a silly, dramatic Abby kind of voice but non the less serious) then she said, "I'm really glad Dad made me stop watching it, because it was like I was addicted and now I'm free!" Now I've tried to think of a profound food for thought point to this story for you, but I can't seem to come up with it. It was just a moment, a little conversation that stuck out to me and has been on my mind. I think really it made me proud of my 13 year old little sister, that she realized she had been so caught up in something that really wasn't important or probably worth her time. And I was proud that she was grateful to her Dad for giving her boundaries (though she wasn't thrilled at the time) later recognized what a blessing it had been instead of just resenting his authority and she was thankful that he had intervened.

I Love this kid!

Noodles

Disclaimer. I wrote this a week ago, and I am only just now posting... Some things have changed I have a whole lotta joy and peace. It could have something to do with the fact of the matter that I just had a week long vaca with the best friends in San Diego.That I was just silly and able to laugh a lot. But also, through a very important life long mentor and friend of mine God spoke some sweet and peace filling words to me. So the following may be the peak of some frazzled emotions. You've been warned. Disclaimer over. Hopeful, Scared, Nervous, Worried, Relaxed, Annoyed, Exhausted, Excited, Frustrated, Encouraged, Angry, Happy, Peaceful, Freaking Out, Stuck, Exhilarated, Alive, Loved, Confused. I hugged my sister Hannah good bye tonight. I will see her again in a week. But I cried anyway. She's the nicest person I know. I never don't enjoy being with her. She's refreshing. She doesn't say mean things. Not even in a sarcastic or joking way. (Which most people do. I'm not saying it's bad, I even do it, maybe it is bad... anyways sometimes it gets to you. That's why she's like a breath of fresh air. She doesn't ever intentionally try to make you feel inadequate.) I'm going to California to visit Mary dearest. I leave Monday. I'm pretty excited! I like to travel. It makes me feel excited, invigorated, nervous and free. Everyone has an idea of what you should do. It makes for some complicated emotions. It's hard to figure out what you want to do. Much less what 20 other people want you to do. I once heard some one say "I'm so thankful that I'm not in my 20's anymore, they sucked!" My first thought "Well geez thanks for the encouragement!" My second thought. "Hey at least someone understands. Maybe this is even normal if other people have felt this way." I watched a video of a beautiful girl with a beautiful story of God's grace. She had a huge smile. She was vibrant with life. She has a blog. She lives in a different country. She works with a missions group. And she writes posts with quotes from Narnia. I have a favorite. It goes like this. Lucy- "Is He safe?" Mr. Beaver. "Safe? Who said anything about safe? Of course He isn't safe. But He is good." I call this part of my life "The time of drifting.(Drifting here and there and wherever life takes me.)" I actually just think all that in my head. I don't actually say it out loud.I am currently reading a book called "Through Painted Deserts" By Donald Miller. I'm not even half way through this book but I am really loving it. The following are a few parts that stirred me. This first part was just a piece of the introduction. I think if the introduction moves you enough that you blog it then probably it's a good book. "And so my prayer is that your story will involve some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves,about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements. The setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it? It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out. I want to repeat one word for you. Leave. Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed." "Every body has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons." I thought this part was amusing. "It's interesting how you sometimes have to leave home before you can ask difficult questions, how the questions never come up in the room you grew up in, in the town in which you were born. It's funny how you can't ask difficult questions in a familiar place,how you have to stand back a few feet and see things in a new way before you realize nothing that is happening to you is normal. The trouble with you and me is we are used to what is happening to us. We grew into our lives like a kernel beneath the earth, never able to process the enigma of our composition. Think about this for a moment: if you weren't a baby and you came to earth as a human with a fully developed brain and had the full weight of molecular experience occur to you at once, you would hardly have the capacity to respond in any cognitive way to your experience. But because we were born as babies and had to be taught to speak and to pee in a toilet, we think all of this is normal. It is all rather odd isn't it, our eyes in our heads, our hands with five fingers, the capacity to understand beauty, to feel love, to feel pain." I'm a small town girl. Born and raised and lived for 20 years. Right here. I've done some good state traveling though. 26 of 50 down! Looking forward to hitting the next 24. Looking forward to finding incredible places, finding new things. Learning how to react and understand life out side my comfort zone. Learning how to interact with lots of new people, situations, ideas. The same friend as mentioned at the beginning of this post. Explained to me how men are like waffles and woman are like noodles. Men compartmentalize things in their minds and think about something and just that something. Woman are like noodles in that their thoughts all interconnect and twist and turn and almost give you a headache. I can think of probably 52 thoughts ideas, conversations, things I have to do, what someone said, why they said it, what were they feeling and what I was wearing all within about 2 minutes. I feel that this blog post was quite a noodling experience for you. I hope you don't have a head ache. In closing I will leave you with this quote. "It's all fun and games till your jeans don't fit anymore."

Belonging. What's in a name?

Today is a cold day.

A cold, rainy, winter day. At least what the south would consider winter. Apparently This is mild cold here in ND. But I'm kickin town next Friday and not planning on feeling what real winter is like in ND. This is the kind of day you want to wear a warm sweater put some socks on and cuddle in a blanket with some hot chocolate. That's what I'm doing right now. This is my last Saturday here until I return to those to whom I belong. I was thinking about that today."Belonging" It's really nice to belong. There is something quite lovely and special about belonging to someone. When someone says "My daughter, my sister, my best friend, my niece, my granddaughter, my cousin, my sister-in-law, My LK(as Aunt Vanessa calls me)" There are some names I have not been called. Although I imagine they are quite special to be called as well. Like "My Aunt, my wife, my lover, my mom, my grandmother." God refers to me as "My child, my daughter,my friend, my beloved." I am immensely happy that I belong to Him! And I am immensely happy he gave me people to belong to! P.S.

A Memory In A Bottle

Sometimes I think about what is happening around me and I wish I could capture it in a memory bottle. I guess it's not just the memory we want. It's the way we felt at the time. The happiness, laugh, look, smell,sound, feeling,beauty that came with that moment. What if we could put a memory in a bottle. You could close your eyes open the cap and for a few sweet moments be enveloped in that memory. Feelings, thoughts, smells and all. Then whenever you miss someone or some experience with them, you could just open a memory bottle and it might soothe your heart for a while. I would have a collection of memories. Like when Mary and I lived together we would both get home from work and both crash on my bed sometimes we would talk. Sometimes we would laugh. Sometimes we would eat chocolate and sometimes we would just sit there together.Or the last night I was with Mary before moving to ND. My family had all ready gone to bed. Mary and I drove to their house anyway. We walked out to the trampoline and slept under the stars.(And were also terrified by the raccoon or whatever it was!) And the time when I went to pick up Ivan's "friend" at the bus station only to find that Ivan's "friend" was my Mary! Right here in North Dakota!

Then there are the times when I would get off work in SC, come out to my car and find sticky notes with sweet messages on my window from Rebeca. And times when we would be in Zumba class "trying to dance" while making faces at each other and laughing.

And add in there the time when we hadn't seen each other in 2 months she came to visit me in ND. We took a hike in Yellowstone. As we walked down Mt. Washburn hand in hand we had a much needed heart to heart catch up conversation.

Or the time when John David and Liz got married. Once they were pronounced husband and wife and after the recessional all of us(Her siblings,his siblings and them) walked down to the most beautiful spot and we were all together with our oldest siblings married. I can't explain it. All I can tell you was it was sweet. It was special. I felt blessed and I wanted to keep the moment forever in my heart.

There was the time I called my Mom on the phone and we both ended up having a 10 minute laughing session where we couldn't breathe or form words over nothing all that funny. It was just the more one laughed the other would too. Or the time I walked down the side of a mountain in the Bear Tooth mountains. And just stood and beheld the majesty and beauty of what was around me and He who created it.

There would be the time when Joy, Mrs. Patty and I made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins in the Pisgah kitchen together. I accidentally put twice as much pumpkin as was called for in the batter. I was scolded and then was teased. There are hundreds more. I'm sure you have them too. Sometimes it's just that perfect feeling that you can't explain. But I've noticed something with memories, with time some of them tend to fade away. Sometimes when I think about my friend Joy who passed away. I catch my self replaying the same memories trying to cling on to all of it. All of her. I know I had lots of time spent with Joy, but I cant remember it all. I cant remember all the inside jokes. All the laughs shared. All the times she hugged me. To tell the truth, I hate that. I hate that I can't remember everything. Because that's all I will have left of her for my remainder on earth. Carrie wrote a blog post shortly after I was thinking about my memories of Joy. She said "Feelings are for feeling and memories are for making, and it’s okay that some of them fade away. I think it’s enough if we’re able to feel what we feel when we’re feeling it-- recognizing its form and beauty and transience-- then let it go and know that another feeling will come along. It’s enough if we live a moment with no strings attached-- trusting that the memory will be what it’s supposed to be and that the temporary nature of this moment is not a bad thing." Sometimes it's good to get another persons perspective. It's okay that some of the memories fade away. Just because I can't remember every little detail or memory doesn't mean that the details didn't create a bond between you and the person or persons who shared in the moment. It doesn't mean that my life wasn't impacted by that moment. So I will be thankful for the memories I do have. Thankful for the relationships even more. Feel nostalgia for things past but look hopefully towards the moments and feelings that I know are in the future. And most importantly I will be thankful for "now." I will make the most of "now" being content and thankful for this moment.

Wedding Hair!

On Late Night Outings, Swimming, Bonfires, Dishes, and More.

It's been a busy 2 weeks I must say. I'm working on getting my Cosmetology license here in North Dakota which Lord willing will be soon! Not that I dislike my FIVE GUYS job (which somehow has turned into one of our house jokes that I go out with FIVE GUYS regularly) but if you know me I'm not really the type who wears my hair in a bun with a hat, no earrings and t-shirts and if I try to wear make up end up having to cut the 50 pounds of onions which then leaves my face tear streaked. Not Peachy you guys. Not Peachy. So I am looking forward to when I can fix my hair, wear my jewelry and not cry every day over a bag of onions. Speaking of Work. I conquered one of my top 5 fears this weekend. I successfully learned how to operate the cash register!I had problems working with our cash register at my last job which made me quite nervous to work with another but I got it and that made me happy! :) On another note we (Carrie, Josiah, Ben, Luke, and I) went chasing the Aurora Borealis (The Northern Lights) the other night. We heard there was supposed to be a sighting. So we drove 30 Minutes North. We didn't see the Northern Lights because it was too cloudy. However we did see the northern lightning which was rather beautiful! The next night everybody was in rather high spirits so we had a dance party in the kitchen while eating KFC chicken and biscuits because as Josiah says "KFC takes good care of their employees who stay late and help close." After our dance party some of us were still in the mood to do something so we piled in the car and drove North again while listening to Garth Brooks. We just drove and drove and drove then pulled of to the side of the road in the middle of green fields and nothingness, except for some cows that I managed to start a stampede with. Ben was mistaken as a Moose by a passing Canada Border Patrol Man. He was nice. Then when we got home the police pulled up behind us because apparently you are supposed to use your blinkers when you drive! Oops! Well yolo! might as well make your late night adventures as exciting as they can be! Jordanna said the other day, "What I like about living with 14 people is you always have someone to do stuff with. You don't have to text and coordinate anything you just ask if any one wants to go do whatever with you and there is always someone to go!" I think we do have it lucky because Angela, Luke and I were talking to these two guys at the "Spicy Pie" who are up here in ND doing the same thing as us. Came for the good jobs and adventure but they were in awe of Luke. "How on earth did you get 13 friends to come to Minot. We go hang out at the Wal-Mart hoping to find someone to be our friend!" Then they said they wanted us to come out to the farm they live on to have a bon fire. I dont know if that will happen but if it does I'll let you know! :) Yesterday was Zac's birthday. He got home late from work. Josiah said "Well let me take you out for your birthday." Cause He is nice like that. They were going to run by Taco Bell. So a few more of us decided to go too. When we got to Taco Bell they were closed so we decided to run down to Wal- Mart to buy ice cream instead.

The boys were in one car and us girl were in the other. We came to a stop light and the boys decided that it was an opportune time to do a Chinese Fire Drill. They ran around the car twice and still had plenty of time before the light turned green. Last week Jordanna was invited by a co-worker at Panera to go to the pool. Angela and I went too. They have a big ol water slide! Angela and I like to go on it over and over again. She accidently got turned around and went back wards. That sounded like fun so I asked the life guard at the top if we were allowed to go back wards he said "Technically no, but if you accidentally get turned upside down, no one can help that.." I said, "I see, I see, accidentally, gotchya!" After we swam we went to tutti frutti for some frozen yogurt! Which was a nice way to end the pool excursion. We have a rule in this house "If you use a dish, you wash it." It doesn't really work, because dishes is a full time job in this house, but it helps a little. Also we voted on a name for our house. It is now called "The Box of Chocolates" because you never know what you are going to get. Some of the other options were Pina Colada, Safe Haven, Lucky Charms, The Beaker, and The Coed Barracks. This week Ariel, Ivan, and Jared went out of town. The house was very empty at night when we usually get together and have dinner. Jared got back last night and Ivan just got back today. Ariel will be back on Thursday. (I'm sure yall wanted to hear about our schedules.) Tonight Luke, Angela, Zac, Jared, Ben Ross, Jordanna and I watched the USA vs. Ghana soccer game. Luke was pretty excited about the USA win.

Earlier this week I decided to cut the grass with scissors... dont ask... I got most of the yard done with just a few strange looks from the neighbors and a lot of comments from my 13 house mates.

So this afternoon we sat in the yard still celebrating the win of the USA and I decided to finish cutting up the lawn.

Then our neighbor called over his fence, "Uh, yall can use my lawn mower!" So we did. Thank you neighbor. Then he invited us to his bon fire. I don't know if that bon fire will happen either but if it does, I'll let you know! :) Chow.